would you have a drink with you?

have you guys seen the stoli vodka commercials? probably not. but they pose the question 'would you have a drink with you?' of course i would. we would tag team people-watch. we wouldnt miss anyone passing by. we (me and the other me) would understand each other and our humor. we wouldnt want to go mingle or meet new people. we would be content talking about simple things like embarassing moments in our lives and lives of others that we know. or tv shows. movies. and their memorable quotes. poking fun at others. so my answer would be a definite yes. would you have a drink with you?


here is the julia stiles commercial for stoli

a few weeks ago i was able to go back home. it was a good weekend to lounge around and pretty much do nothing. i attended a funeral and was able to see many people from high school. some friends. some not. it was awesome to see how much people had changed. for the most part they grew horizontally and had facial hair. yeah keep growing the beard out. ps it doesnt make your neck look thinner. i can still count your chins. the most rewarding part of seeing people from high school was this one guy who was a dbag to me freshman year and how he had changed. he had a gut and was wearing super nerdy glasses. but the best part was that he was bald at 25ish. that put a huge smile on my face. karma chuntis.

being colorblind

it has taken me awhile for me to figure out that i am colorblind. okay maybe i have known for years but didnt want to accept it. i knew it ran in the family on my moms side but i still didnt think i was colorblind. as it happens i am. sometimes when i buy clothes i think they are one color but come to find out that in fact they are a completely different color. so naturally my whole color scheme for my outfit is ruined. i was recently with my roommate and i noticed we were wearing similar clothes. we both had dark denim jeans on, we both had dark brown shirts on, and i think we both were wearing sperrys. i mentioned this to him, and he looks at me with a confused look. he says that we didnt have the same color shirt. his was dark brown and mine was black. turns out he was right. i bought that shirt thinking it was dark brown! i wanted a dark brown shirt. this has happened countless times to me.

take for instance i was in microbiology lab looking at bacteria under a microscope. we were supposed to draw the bacteria and color them accordingly. it was harder than it sounds because all of my lab partners were color blind. the blind leading the blind. so we would draw the bacteria and would have to ask another group to tell us what color we should use. on the first two labs we missed points because we used the wrong color on the majority of the bacteria. wow. i think i can argue that its my disability/disease that caused me to miss those points. so now we have to collaborate with another group and have them choose a colored pencil for us. how embarrassing.

one more experience that happened in august. i got into frisbee golfing over the summer. and i had just bought a new red frisbee. so i go to the el dorado course. this red frisbee was a little bit harder to locate in the green grass. i continue to play. i throw the red frisbee towards the hole. i walk over to find it. and it is nowhere to be found. i spent at least 45 minutes looking for this frisbee. i even asked other people to keep an eye out. nothing. who loses a red frisbee in green grass? im an idiot for not taking my colorblindness into account when purchasing a red frisbee.

these were just the most recent occurrences.

what i love is when people find out that i am colorblind they immediately try and test me. maybe to try and fool me because they dont believe me?

what color is my shirt? black. no its navy.
what color is my hair? brown. wow that one is always easy.
what color is my carpet? puke-green. its always close to this color.
what color are my jeans? denim colored. cake.

so if you dont know if you are colorblind yet here are some links for some color blind tests:

colorblind test 1

i only got the first one right on this one.

colorblind test 2

i got two right on this one.

have you ever had a song stuck in your head and it stayed in there the entire day? well ive been having that problem. but at church. i usually turn off my radio while i drive to and from church but this particular sunday i got in my car and turned the key and before i could turn the radio off i hear the lyrics "girl, i wanna sex you up!" blasting from my speakers. for the entire three hour block i had that stuck in my head i even had to stop myself from humming it while sitting in sunday school. the music that pops into my head during church has been music with a good beat but not so good lyrics. i guess ill have to dust off my old nsync cds and listen to those to and from church. nsync is sabbath appropriate right?

the coolest youll look pooping your pants

i love this ad. good job huggies. i wish i had these when i was in diapers. i just hope when i get older and incontinent i can count on huggies to make these fashionable diapers.

unnecessary

after a hard morning of working down in san diego im driving down washington to find a place to eat. i spot a jack in the box on my left. i was thinking i could find somewhere else to eat until i saw that this jack in the box had a freaking fireplace in it. i had to get a better look. the fireplace was double sided so people on the inside and outside could enjoy it equally. the food was alright but now i can say i ate at a jack in the box that had a fireplace. maybe its the only one in the world. california has the nicest weather year round why would they need it?

you can even see jack's silhouette

im tired of being tired

it probably started in high school when i realized no matter how many hours of sleep i got i was always sleepy during the day. it seemed like i never completely woke up. this continued on my ecclesiastical sabbatical to ecuador. even getting 8 full hours of sleep a night, (as required by the white bible), it still left me yawning the entire day. i grew accustomed to the tiredness and thought it was normal for me.
i was informed by a good friend, who shall not be named, about hypothyroidism. he told me that the main symptoms of it were: 1. excessive tiredness 2. hair loss 3. unexplained weight gain 4. always being cold 5. and in some cases lactation.
i wont go into which ones i have. but you can ask me in private. i then found out that hypothyroidism runs in the family. it seemed like i had it for sure. so i scheduled an appointment at the uvu health clinic and they drew blood and tested it. they said it would take a few days for the results to come in. i wasnt really nervous about the test reults because i was sure i was hypothyroidic. i just got a call from the clinic and they informed me i was not hypothyroidic. i was disappointed at the results. i now have to come to the realization that the rest of my life i will be constantly tired and possibly lactating.

fair weather smoker

the other day i was walking outside to my next class and it was freezing outside. it was about 8 degrees. i only had a small sweater on and it felt like the cold wind was going right through it. it was hard to handle the 3 or 4 minute walk from one building to the next. then i saw a few smokers just standing there with their vice in hand withstanding the cold. i thought to myself if i was ever a smoker i would only smoke outside when it was warm. as soon as i could see my breath outside i would put away my pack of cigs and my lighter away for a few months. i guess i would be a fair-weather smoker.

king of chlamydia

i was sitting in my biology class this week and my professor put up a picture of this little guy. i noticed the little italicized letters underneath the picture. the frilled-necked lizard (aka frilled lizard or frilled dragon) has one of the most embarrassing latin classification names out there. Chlamydosaurus kingii. now tell me you dont think of a sexual transmitted disease when you see that. and im not sure what the real translation is but until i find out it will be king of chlamydia.

you make me sick

i get the urge to throw up every time i see this commercial. it doesnt make me want to use their product at all. if anything it makes me want to stay away from it.

midnight showings

i attended the midnight showing of harry potter and the half-blood prince and i was surprised at how many people dressed up. i was more surprised at how people act at midnight showings. people yelling stupid comments. others throwing things. and just being loud and obnoxious. i know you are excited to be there and to watch the movie first but please control yourselves from being idiots. we all came to watch and enjoy the new movie so contain yourselves.

chicken and beer

me and my friend jeff were at macys and thought it would be fun to make chicken in a beery broth cooked in a crock pot. we picked the best day of the week: sunday. we bought all the ingredients saturday night and we were, needless to say, stoked to use a recipe from recipezaar.com. all the reviews were good and a lot of people recommended it. i think the hardest decision was finding the right beer.



this was the selection. we stood there just staring at the colorful cans of beer for a few minutes. i finally decided to go with a 24 oz of miller genuine draft. i still stand behind my decision.

browning the chicken before the crock pot

jeff chopping some potatoes and carrots

pouring in some more miller

it was fun making it, but i wouldnt recommend it. the chicken was super dry and didnt taste normal, but the vegetables were spectacular.

futbol folly

so ive been noticing lately in this great town that there are tons of people wearing soccer jerseys. at the gym. at school. shopping at the mall. etc. most of these are ex-missionaries that served in foreign countries. if youre trying to stand out: mission accomplished. it just makes it easier for me to spot you in a crowd and even easier to make fun of you. i thank you. ive come up with a few exceptions when you can sport a soccer jersey:

1 cheering for your favorite soccer team during world cup

2 if youre going to a watch a game

3 or youre a retard

crop dusting

i was working on my fitness at the local 24 here in provo the other day. i was on one of the many stairclimbers and caught a "wiff" of something malodorous. i knew it wasnt me so i looked around for a guilty looking person working out near me. no one looked guilty. this stench lingered for at least a minute. it was brutal. i have a hard enough time with the altitude. and now i have to deal with someone else's disgusting habit of crop dusting in public. please consider others that are near you when you are flirting with the idea of breaking wind.

customer satisfaction

as i have stated in the previous blog i work at sears. on the bottom of every receipt there are instructions to take a survey online. its a small survey to rate how the associates did with their customers. if they were clean looking. if the department was neat. or messy. if the associate was helpful and knew his stuff. quality of products. and so on. after rating me in these several categories there is a place where one can write what they want. some unknown customer wrote something about me. they said i was like a robot and that i didnt smile enough for them. getting 6 bucks an hour. getting yelled at throughout the day by disgruntled customers. and on special days by my managers. and my personal favorite having people not show respect because i work at sears. yep all these things make me happy. and whats wrong with being a robot? sometimes i dont feel like smiling and other times i enjoy acting like a robot.

put the money in my hand

so i work at sears and have worked there for far too long. retail sucks the life out of anyone that works in it. i am no exception. some people have no respect for those that work in the retail industry. i ring people up for their purchases and most people pay with a credit card, sign, and i hand them the receipt and that's it. i probably wont remember their faces when they come back into sears. but on occasion some pay with cash which is fine, but some people throw their money on the counter as if im not right in front of them with my hand ready to take their money. really? whats the deal? are you just too lazy to raise and extend your arm to drop your money into my hand a few extra inches? come on. show some respect. or ill spit on your change before i give it back to you. its your choice.

stupid humans

so in my bio 1610 class we are learning about the environment. global warning. recycling. conserving the ecosystem. and what we can do to stop destroying our planet. blah blah blah. my professor said something interesting tonight. she was telling us that we shouldnt build houses and live where animals live. hello? animals live everywhere. in the forests, deserts, plains, tundras, etc. i say survival of the fittest. if the animals can outwit us, more power to them.

spring is here

so now that its finally getting warmer here, there has been a drastic change in fashion. ive heard of provo fashion and even seen pictures, but never thought it was this bad. i am experiencing it firsthand. you know when spring has arrived in provo when you see thousands and thousands of polo shirts. i didnt know so many colors existed. most of the polos have the insignia from american eagle, hollister, or abercrombie. and keep telling yourself popping your collar looks really good on you. i love sitting and making fun of people like you. choker necklaces bloom back in style as do white sandals. ive also noticed that more and more people are wearing sunglasses inside. are you serious? you might as well get transition lenses. you look ridiculous. and dont even put them on your head. please leave them in your car.

i was looking for pictures online to portray the provo style. this was the one that shows it the best.

enough already

recently i have been getting bombarded with an insane amount of invites to applications that dont suit me. ive had enough. getting multiple invites to add applications on facebook from the same person is driving me nuts. i know i used to invite others to groups, but i think i am justified because they were funny and im sure they made you laugh. some of the applications are: Which sexy lady are you?, Dr. Phil's personality test, and what's your name meaning? i dont get it. please stop before you are deleted. i apologize for being rude, but it really needs to stop. you know who you are.